What is the difference? How do we know the difference? This can be a tricky topic. Being able to identify the difference is where Self Awareness activities are really helpful. As you have heard me say over and over, we are programmed, encouraged, taught, to disconnect from our authenticity. In oh so many ways. Watch television, play video games, keep busy, work all of the time, look to the outside for what we should be doing, medicate yourself if you are upset or uncomfortable. These are just a handful of ways we are encouraged to disconnect.
So how do we know? How do we tell, what is our authenticity and what is our ego/personality. One of the easiest ways we know we are being authentic is when we experience a core sense of stability, ease, calm. We don’t get affected by what is going on around us. We will have a sense of certainty. A sense of belonging, even if the world around us reflects otherwise. A sense of having a right to exist, that we have value. Not based on what we do, just an innate value.
We will feel a sense of stability and certainty when we are alone and when we are around others. There is no need to do to be of value, we just are. And, because we just are we just exude this stability and certainty to everyone and everything around us. We see the authenticity in others, even when they do not see it in themselves. So we invite the authenticity in others to come out and engage with us. And, even if they cannot let their authenticity out, we see it in them anyway.
Perhaps you have had at least some brief periods of being authentic. Even if it was just when you were alone. Maybe you are only authentic when you are by yourself. When you get around others, even family and close friends, does your facade, your ego or personality takes over? Do you feel you have to have it to protect yourself. But is it a protection? Or does it make you more vulnerable? Does it take you outside of yourself, where you lose connection with your core stability and certainty.
And, if you look outside yourself for the definition of what you should be or do, will you ever have stability and certainty? So here is a tricky part. The ego/personality is often considered a person’s authentic self. How do you know which it is? Did you feel yourself slip a little down the rabbit hole?
It takes some time and self observation to learn the difference. It takes some “failing” and some success to learn to distinguish between the two. The good news is there will always be circumstances and people who show up to help you sort it out. If you use the events in your life as a way to learn the difference and strengthen your identification with your authenticity. Of course not everyone thinks that is good news in some circumstances.
Anytime you feel insecure, anger, rage, fear, doubt, shame, like you don’t belong, anything that is not joyful, you are operating from ego/personality. Anytime you are basing your well being on external events, beliefs or criticisms you are operating from ego/personality. The external world will always be unstable. I have often equated this much like the old pin ball machines where you just get batted around by whatever happens to be in the environment. This is completely different from being in stable authenticity where whatever occurs in the outside world is just what the outside world does. And, you go back to your core, innate wisdom, inner stability, to choose how to respond.
So take a few times a day to stop and notice what you are experiencing, physically, emotionally and energetically. Notice if it feels like you are in the stable, joyful flow of life or if you feel batted around by circumstances. Notice if you are reacting or just noticing how the world around you is operating and still feeling stable and certain inside. This is a good start. Just noticing, comparing, noticing the subtle differences between innate authenticity and ego/personality.
Once you get more aware of where you are operating from, more aware of the moment, it is easier to course correct when you are operating from ego/personality. Easier to choose, in the moment to return to stability, certainty, authenticity.
Have some fun and interrupt your auto-pilot during the day and begin noticing what is You, and what is not.